Monthly Archive for May, 2010

Though I can’t claim to be a loyal viewer, every now and again, I catch word of the latest thing Oprah Winfrey is up to. And, I must say, I was most pleased to hear that she recently launched a campaign to help put an end to “texting while driving” that even goes further and aims to make every automobile a “No Phone Zone”, by soliciting pledges from drivers.   I love it, love it, love it! I took the pledge as soon as I heard about it on the day it launched. Of course, what I appreciate most about it, is the fact that this campaign will lead to me and the people I love being much safer when we’re on the street (even as pedestrians).

But what I REALLY like about it, is that it calls into question the way we, as a society, currently choose to manage our time. I understand that for some people the safety factor is not enough of a reason to give up their car/phone time. After all, most people consider themselves to be above-average drivers, and in their minds, the risks that texting/talking while driving poses is little compared to the risk of not being able to communicate at the blink-of-an-eye pace to which we’ve all become accustomed in the past few years.

In order to really adhere to such a pledge, you’d have to completely restructure your lifestyle! The “No Phone Zone” means you can no longer hop in the car, simultaneously dialing your bff to get directions to that restaurant for that dinner date you’re running late for…Bummer! It means, you can no longer text your hubby while driving back from the your son’s t-ball practice to ask him to pick up something for dinner, because it just dawned on you that supper’s in an hour, and you didn’t thaw the chicken….Dang! It means you have to actually wait until you get to where you’re going (and are parked) to check the oh-so-important-email that you just heard chirp through your Blackberry…Phewy! And for some really, REALLY important business people, it means really, REALLY important business will have to wait…ARRRGH!

How awful! But is it really? One of the most important skills that I teach parents is PREPARATION. Preparation is defined as “the action or process of making something ready or of getting ready for some occasion, test, or duty.” Preparation for parents means taking the time (despite the fact that time is hard to come by for many of us) to think something through and establish a plan of action. A plan is one of the most powerful tools in a parent’s toolbox. From dealing with the public temper tantrums to optimizing fun time, a plan makes the difference.

One module, in particular, that I teach is heavily dependent upon the ability to master the art of planning, and that is Time-Management. Our society today values the multi-tasking, constantly-moving, e-communicating archetype. It gives the allusion that much is getting accomplished, when quite often the reality is a great deal of inefficiency. A lot of those multi-tasks that we’re simultaneously completing, are actually other tasks that we have to “undo” and “redo”, because they weren’t done right in the first place, or at least not as well as they could have been if we had spent a little more time thinking them through before acting.

Learning to restructure our lives to include preparation and planning not only allows for more efficient outcomes, but also helps reduce stress and anxiety. And the best part, especially for parents, is that it changes our pace and allows us more opportunities to achieve that often hard-to-acquire feeling of living in the moment. Of course there’s a need, a time, and a place for spontaneity, but honestly, that impromptu text while driving, just ain’t it!  Managing time is most definitely worth it, but it can often be a challenge. Learning to prepare is something that comes by way of incremental progress. Little steps lead to bigger steps which lead to even bigger steps, and before you know it, you feel like you have more control over your life. Pledging to put your cell phone aside for the duration of a ride (and all the planning that’s required to do that one small task), could be your first step.

So I’ll rephrase my earlier questions:

Is it really such a bummer that your bff can no longer give you turn-by-turn directions to that restaurant, or is it nice to know that because you took the “No Phone Pledge” that you not only remembered to get directions before leaving the house but you slowed down enough to remember to check that the lock on the back door. Now instead of the anxiety of wondering “did I forget to do something?”, you’re enjoying a relaxing dinner with friends.   Is it really such a bad thing, that because you committed to not texting while driving that you decided to call your husband BEFORE you left for t-ball practice, and his “what’s for dinner?” question reminded you to take that chicken out the freezer? Not to mention the fact that he was so pleasantly surprised to receive your mid-day call that he said an extra “I love you” that kept you smiling for a half an hour or so.  And is it really so horrible that you didn’t check that email the very second it chirped into your inbox? Because after all, it was just another coupon from that company who’s listserve you’ve been meaning to unsubscibe from.

First and foremost, the “No Phone Zone” Pledge is a matter of life and death. But, don’t underestimate that for many of us, it could also be a matter of Time…Management!

Take the pledge now: www.nophonezone.com (It’s quicker than checking your email!)